Anal sex might be daunting for first-timers because of the many taboos surrounding it. We get it. But hear us out: if the prospect of anal sex makes you a little nervous, that’s perfectly normal. There is nothing wrong with avoiding it all together; but, if you only need some knowledge and advice to help you prepare, we’ve got you covered. The time has finally come for our comprehensive preparation guide for anal.
Preparing for anal sex is always preceded by a conversation with your partner and a thorough check-in. As an alternative, if you’ve already mastered the art of open and honest communication and want to learn how to have a safe and comfortable anal experience for the first time, you’re at the right place. Alicia Sinclair, sexpert and inventor of b-Vibe, agreed to give us the dirt on anal sex.
Consider that these pointers are applicable to everyone with a bum, regardless of partner or gender identity, and that this includes men and women who intend to use a penis or other penetration devices.
How to prepare for anal: Preparing for anal advice
1. Educate yourself
The very thought of anal sex might be frightening, especially in light of the widespread misconceptions surrounding it. You can, however, be better prepared and ready for the first time by first familiarizing yourself with what to expect. Whether you’re concerned about the possible messiness, the emotion, or any other psychological factors, do some research. As a general rule, it is best to avoid anal sex if you are not feeling up to it or if you have any concerns about your comfort, well-being or limits, as these are the most crucial aspects of the experience.
2. Talk with your partner before anal sex
Anal sex should only be attempted after a thorough discussion between you and your partner has taken place. If you’re going to do anything new with your spouse, be sure it’s something they’ve consented to.
Establish your degree of comfort with each other, and then take small moves at a time. For the sake of respecting everyone involved and making the experience as enjoyable as possible, avoid putting yourself or your partner under unnecessary stress. You’ll both have a more enjoyable time if you take your time, prepare ahead of time, and know what to expect.
3. Try anal alone first
Masturbation is essential for learning about your vulva and becoming comfortable with its many sensations, as you may already be aware. The good news is that it’s also a terrific method to be ready for anal sex. The anal fingering can be started at your own pace. Make sure to use a lot of lubricant and slowly insert your finger into your anus to get a feel for it.
Anus lubrication is essential since the anus does not self-lubricate in the same manner that many people’s vulvas do. Soreness and injury, such as tearing, are much reduced as a result of this, making things feel a lot more enjoyable. When it comes to anal pleasure, you can’t go wrong with a nice water-based lubricant. Unlike other lubricants, this one from Liquid Silk lasts for a long time.
You may find it helpful to experiment with varied sensations once you’ve mastered fingering your own anus. Small anal sex toys are a terrific method to do this, assuming you’re at ease with them. The modest size and ease of use of anal beads make them an excellent first toy for this purpose.
Begin by inserting the smallest bead, and slowly insert more depending on your comfort level. We can’t stress this enough: Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate! The anus is unable to lubricate itself, thus it requires assistance. Use silicone lube only if you’re using silicone anal toys (which many are). Silicone toys should only be lubricated with water-based lubrication to avoid harm.
If you’re used to anal beads, give a vibrating butt plug a whirl instead. Again, use copious amounts of lubrication and introduce the device gently so that you can get a feel for it.
This Rocks Off anal toy is perfect for newbies because it’s tiny and lightweight, but it features a variety of fun and powerful vibration settings that you can experiment with at your own pace.
4. Keep it hygienic – Anal sex and mess
Anal scares a lot of individuals because of the possibility for a mess. It’s possible to clean your genital area prior to anal intercourse, but keep in mind that you’re going to be inserting something into your genital region. You’ll be less astonished if you become more familiar with the possibility of pooping on yourself. Having a conversation with your partner about your worries about mess and anal sex can help alleviate some of the humiliation that some individuals feel when contemplating these topics.
However, if you want to go the extra mile, you can use an enema or anal douche in addition to a baby wipe or soap and water. If you’re looking for an anal douche that’s easy to use and has an extra-large 460ml bulb, go no further than Lovehoney.
5. Go slow
When the time comes for anal intercourse with a partner, you should be emotionally and physically prepared if you’ve followed all of the preceding stages.
Slowing down will help you to get used to the size and feelings of the penis or strap-on/dildo without feeling overwhelmed or offended.
It’s also feasible to start things off with some luscious rimming in order to put you at ease and ready for penetration.
You can aid your partner by guiding them through what feels wonderful and assisting in setting the pace if you’re the one receiving it. Get to know each other on a regular basis by letting them know how you’re feeling.
Don’t forget to keep an eye on your partner if you’re the one providing the assistance. Pay attention not only to what they say, but also to what they don’t say.
6. Level-up with these anal sex positions
The more you become used to the anal sex, the more you can experiment with different anal positions.
ANAL SEX POSITION: THE CURLY WURLY
All that matters is having fun and having sex with your partner in this anal position. Anyone who doesn’t want a grueling anal workout should definitely check this one out.
The receiving partner should be cuddled in front of you, with their legs raised up to their chest, and you should gradually ease on top of them (like you’re spooning). Open the sphincter by raising your legs away from your torso, which will allow easier entry. As a bonus, lying down this way allows you to explore other regions at the same time if it interests you.
ANAL SEX POSITION: DOGGY STYLE
Doggy style is a tried-and-true position for anal intercourse for both novices and experts alike. You should get down on your knees and bend over if you’re receiving, whether it’s on a couch or the floor, depending on your level of comfort. Next, the penetrating partner kneels behind them and slowly penetrates their anus from the back. Again, go slowly at first until you’re ready to increase the speed… Remember lubrication!
ANAL SEX POSITION: MISSIONARY
Anal sex can benefit greatly from the use of missionary, which isn’t limited to penis-in-vagina intercourse.
Here’s a look at the top anal sex positions for more ideas.
If it’s about to happen, like, now
If you’re freaking out because your date is about to pull up, take a deep breath. You’re good to go, says Play, if you’ve got some lubrication and easy access to some soap and water or wipes to clean up after yourself.
It’s perfectly acceptable to remark, “I just need to go to the bathroom for a second,” if you want to feel clean and ready to play again. Play enhances. “In the end, having a good time is all about making yourself comfortable.”
You can’t take a bathroom break? According to Play, you can also use wipes. “Unless you enjoy your coffee with a little brown sugar! Hey, no kink shaming in my house! *Wink*
Consider rescheduling your butt session if you don’t have the fundamentals on hand, or switch to an equally enjoyable activity.
And don’t forget that lubrication isn’t just for show – it’s essential for your health and safety as well. That’s because lubrication reduces the risk of STIs, including HIV and AIDS, by preventing painful ripping.
“Apply (lube) generously and, if you’re bottoming, be vocal about when you need reapplication,” explains Play.
Make a point of telling your partner when you’re running low on (lubricant) and apply it generously,” Play advises.
Barrier protection should also be considered if the STI status of one or both partners is unknown or if one or both partners is infected with a STI.
If you’ve got a sex date tomorrow
The first thing you should do is make sure you have plenty of lubrication on hand.
Avoid numbing lubricants, which might make it difficult to tell if something is wrong. To minimize discomfort, it’s best to take things one step at a time.
Get your derriere in shape while you’re waiting. This could be done by using your fingers or a toy, or even by going back there and grooming.
Preparation for anal play might include anything from cleansing the outside with soap and water to douching or performing an enema, according to Play.
Purchasing a bidet is a smart move if you expect anal to be a regular occurrence in your repertoire and plan to indulge frequently. When it comes to keeping your uterus clean, this is a great method.
If you’ve got more time to prepare
If you’re new to sex and dealing with usual hurdles, like the fear of discomfort or excrement making an appearance, having additional time to prepare for anal is extremely helpful.
If you’re new to anal prep, these tips can make all the difference.
Consider anal training
You can think of it as an anal sesh equivalent to working out your sphincter in preparation for a sporting event.
When it comes to anal training, you start with the smallest size anal dilators or plugs and work your way up to a larger one over time.
If toys scare you, start with your pinky and work your way up.
Also, don’t forget to apply lubricant prior to sexual contact. Much lubrication is required.
Invest in a sex throw
If you’re looking for a way to spruce up your bedroom, sex throws are your best bet.
In addition to protecting your bedding, waterproof sex blankets provide a soft surface for play.
What’s the matter? This travel-friendly throw is available for purchase online and comes in a travel size, so you may enjoy your comfort wherever and whenever it is most convenient.
Look into different positions
Butt sex isn’t limited to the Downward Dog. Knowing which positions to attempt and which ones are most comfortable for you and your partner will help you narrow down your search (s). If you or a loved one suffers from a handicap or chronic pain, this is extremely crucial.
Feel free to practice with different positions before the big show. We won’t tell.
Get in the know about your back-there anatomy
Don’t be afraid to experiment with alternative positions ahead of time. If you ask us, we won’t say anything about it.
For now, just know that:
- In general, poop is less likely to show up when you’ve already had a stool earlier in the day.
- It is possible that anal penetration could make you feel like you need to go, but this is not the case.
- Stretching of the sphincter or the rectum is not a permanent or significant change.
- Even if you don’t have a prostate, anal orgasms are conceivable.
Set aside time to shower together
Take a long enough shower after your anal adventure so that you may relax together afterwards. The receiving partner’s confidence will rise when it’s time to penetrate if this is used as a pre-play technique to help you both relax and get ready.
If you’re a newcomer to anal, Play recommends starting with a sensual shower as one of his favorite sex hacks. Sexy and sensual: Washing your lover and gliding your hands over their soapy skin.
“After fully washing the soap from the anus, begin mild rimming while placing a waterproof vibrator on the clit,” he continues. Give your spouse a hand if he or she has a penis. That way, your spouse may move forward with confidence, knowing that you have already talked about it.”
10 Things You Need To Know Before Trying Anal For The First Time
Amy Poehler’s character in Mean Girls asked the question, “What’s the 411?” “What’s everyone been up to lately?” ” That’s right, Anal.
Anal seems to be the most popular sex item on the market these days. If you’ve never had anal sex before, it can be a little frightening.
It’s not necessary, though, to be prepared for anal intercourse in advance.
1. Stock up on lube.
Alicia Sinclair, a sex coach and CEO of anal health firm b-Vibe, is known for her “slow and slippery” approach to sex.
The anus, unlike the vagina, is not naturally lubricated; therefore, silicone lubricant is necessary while engaging in anal activities such as sex toys, butt plugs, and dildos.
Between Us Clinic sex therapist Zvi Zuckerman, M.D., explains that “the anal hole is narrower than the vaginal opening and requires a lot of lubricant.” Both the penis and the anus need to be lubricated.
2. Take it slow.
Start small if you’re just getting started with anal sex to get your feet wet. Using a butt plug, for example, can help you progress to a penis and reduce the risk of tearing. Zuckerman warns against vigorous penetration for fear of tearing your partner’s anal sphincter muscle.
Anal beads and latex-gloved fingers are two other great ways to get kids interested in anal play. According to Bespoke Surgical’s CEO and creator, Evan Goldstein, D.O., an anal training kit might be an option worth exploring. “It’s best to start with the smallest toy and work your way up to the larger ones.”
3. Just say no to pain.
The University of Chicago Medicine professor Stacy Tessler Lindau, M.D., who also runs the website WomanLab.org, warns that if you experience pain while having anal sex, you should immediately cease.
4. Don’t forget protection.
After having anal-sex, if any feces make it to your vagina, you run the risk of contracting bacterial vaginosis because of the germs present in feces. Lindau recommends making sure your partner wears a condom (if you are on the receiving end) and having him take it off and put on a new condom if you transition to vaginal intercourse to decrease this risk. She claims that this will reduce the spread of bacteria.
A urinary tract infection in the male partner can be prevented by covering it up, according to Zuckerman.
5. Warm up with a finger or two.
Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How to Get It, suggests that you try anal sex while resting in the shower or bathtub. Since the anus slopes upwards toward the tailbone, Mintz advises inserting your fingers a bit upwards near the tailbone. If you encounter any opposition, slow down and halt. Not forcing anything is your goal, but loosening and preparing the anus is.” Then, after some solo play, you can get your spouse involved. You can help relax your anal sphincter muscles by pushing down on your partner’s fingers as if you’re having a bowel movement.
6. Consider flushing it all out.
As far as we know, anal intercourse involves some sort of bodily fluid. Yeah. Because of this, you may want to think about going number two first.
To enema or not to enema, that is the age-old (butt) conundrum. You don’t need to do this, but if you do, you’ll want to do it at least an hour before you begin anal play. According to Dr. Lauren Streicher of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause, this is generally safe but should be done sparingly. (It can induce bloating or even diarrhea if you do it too frequently.)
7. Keep a towel nearby.
If you’re considering trying an enema, it’s a good idea to have a towel on hand as well. Anal activity has the potential to be very nasty when it comes to mishaps that occur during sex. Keeping a towel handy will make cleanup a breeze.
8. Read up on anal positions.
For women who like to plan things out, anal sex positions could be useful information.
The Lifted Spoon, Flat Doggy, and Reverse Cowgirl’n’Lean are all excellent options for getting a big anal “O” in the stomach.
9. Prepare for climax.
An anal orgasm, on the other hand, does exist. The best way to get there is to drive slowly and liberally with lubricant. To experience the most pleasurable clitoral and nipple rubbing sensations, include everything you already enjoy during sex.
10. Experiment with someone you trust.
Lindau recommends engaging in anal play with a confidante with whom you have open lines of communication. When you and your partner are on the same page, you are more likely to obtain what you want in bed and be more open to trying something new. Good communication is essential in order to ensure that both you and your partner are hitting the proper spots.
Even though anal sex does not require a lot of preparation, there are two things to keep in mind.
Clean up if you need to, but don’t worry about pooping.
To avoid a urinary tract infection (UTI), it’s recommended that men urinate after a vaginal sex and wonder whether the same is true for pooping after an anal sex. Nope! A doctor may recommend that you flush out any bacteria that may have entered your urethra during sexual activity by peeing afterward. Dr. Frankhouse adds there’s no need to force yourself to poop after anal if you don’t feel like it, as bacterial contamination doesn’t occur during anal.
If your spouse ejaculates in your rectum, this advice still holds true. Some individuals fear that this could create diarrhea-like bowel movements, but Dr. Frankhouse reassures them that this is not the case. Because excrement and semen don’t mingle until you’re about to urinate, there’s no real chance for them to come into contact. If your excrement could reach higher in your colon, you’d still have runny menstrual fluid. Dr. Frankhouse explains that because your anus is likely to remain stretched for a few minutes after anal sex, semen can seep right out. However, you are under no obligation to do so if you do not like to.
You can’t go wrong by using an unscented baby wipe or showering in the case of feces. Whatever is most comfortable for you.
Look out for signs of injury.
Anal sex is normally very safe if you follow the best practices we just discussed, such as lubrication, foreplay, and communication. Some tearing or other anal injuries may still occur, depending on how much you use, what you’re putting in there, and how much friction there is involved.
It’s a good idea to be prepared for injuries, even if they’re rare. After a few days of anal sex, Dr. Frankhouse recommends that you seek medical attention if you’re experiencing any of the following:
- Blood, which may indicate anal fissures. – Dr. (small tears in the tissue lining the anus)
- Anal fissures may be the cause of persistent pain.
- HPV or another STI-related sores, bumps, or warts on the anus
- Gonorrhea or chlamydia may be diagnosed by an unusual discharge that resembles pus.
Despite the fact that that information is critical, I’m not going to end this on a terrifying note. You can have a great time with anal play, in fact. It doesn’t matter if it’s the complete opposite of what you usually do. If you keep the above knowledge in mind, you’ll be far more likely to emerge from the experience with a healthy, safe, and potentially mind-blowing understanding of anal sex.